No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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