Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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