You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
