My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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