Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My life is pants optional.
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