They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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