Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
