so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
