When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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