I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
