ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
