So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
