she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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