Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
