i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
