If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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