are you still at the devil's house?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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