Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
