I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
