I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
