carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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