oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
