So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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