That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
