season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
