They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
