Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
