You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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