im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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