what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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