yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
