found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
