he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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