I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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