Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
