lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Randomize
