another moral hangover. fuck.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize