i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
