please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
