so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize