..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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