Christians are straight up FREAKS
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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