Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you win again, gameday.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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