I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
