your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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