Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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