My Higher Power is John Stamos
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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