Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
