i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
