i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
