party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Found your dick twin last night
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
