Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
