i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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