my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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