never play flip cup with pint glasses
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
